I am seriously going to start declaring December as a no-go for EVERYTHING in the future. Year after year, I wind up flat on my arse, incapable of doing anything but coughing and sleeping for record stretches. Year after year, I promise to get Things Done in December and have to back out of those promises. It’s become a standard enough pattern that I think I need to respect it…
…and hire a plant sitter for the winter months, as well. Getting the bulk of the plants out of the house has done more than any prescriptions to help me back onto my feet. Bloody allergies…
I often curse myself for not being more productive. I see folks go to work day in and day out with worse health problems than I have (my perception). They have to pay the bills, they have to do the work. I berate myself endlessly for not being up to that standard. I’m lazy, I’m selfish, I’m whatever whatever.
And maybe I am. All I know is that when I AM on my feet, I usually get more work done in a day than most folks I’ve met in professional settings do in a week. I dig in, shut out the world, and become aware of nothing but writing/editing/proofing/designing or whatever it is to hand at the moment, until the job is done.
End of year holidays are major sources of stress for everyone, whether you celebrate Solstice or Christmas or Hannukah or (insert holiday of choice here). It’s easy to berate ourselves for all of our failings, all the things we could have, should have, meant to do this past year. It’s hard to see, looking back, just why we missed so many opportunities, why we failed to make those phone calls, reach out to friends, make more contacts, do it all right.
We need to trust ourselves. We need to remember, on looking back at all the missed moments, that we had reasons for passing the buck or dropping the ball. We needed to skip that meeting, needed to turn down that editing job, needed to avoid people for the week. We might not remember exactly why we didn’t do this that or the other, but we need to trust that we did what we had to do in that moment. And this being the present and that being the past, let it go, stick a pin in Do Better Tomorrow, and move on without kicking your past self for not being good enough.
We are never going to do it all perfectly. Do the best you can, and let it be enough.